To live or not to live..? This question’s been coming up a lot lately. Why is this feeling coming back? A while ago, my life was crushed - on the inside, and I was left as dead, emotionless, and numb, like a zombie. A life shattering event, fixing the devastation moves from months to years to heal and fix.
Since this very dark day a very long time ago, I’ve been slowly healing – inside. It is more difficult than one would think. Get up, get going, and move on. My life lay on the floor. I cannot see it, cannot feel it, and cannot touch it. How is it possible? Why does it take so long to heal?
Emotions and emotional healing – It’s an intangible part of the body. One cannot point to it and put a band-aide around it. The extent of damage cannot be determined either. Reasons such as these are why it’s a difficult injury.
I will take a pure physical and tangible illness or damage over emotional damage any day. An intangible ‘item’ is damaged - how to measure the progress, the prognosis, the level of injury. There is no comparison chart or rehabilitation schedule. Everyone is different and unique.
One thing I do know – friends, true friends, help the healing processes immensely. Friends, support, love, caring, affection, sharing and human interaction – this is the medicine needed for emotional injuries.
Yes, overall, much healing occurred since the trauma. Triggers affect this misunderstood injury. There are setbacks. Each setback makes me re-evaluate this real question addressed here. What is next?
Your view point is completely valid. In fact, it is such a valid response that noone will deny that you have suffered such a heavy emotional injury. An injury which is not caused by physical illness, but an injury that directly impacts the spiritual being, the real you who is not being defined by your physical body. It is where your faculties of intellect, will and emotion being yielded in your spirit/soul, and that is the place where healing needs to take place.
ReplyDeleteAnd of course, an injury to a spiritual being needs a spiritual healing. All known medications may help a bit, but it is still not a complete healing. Only the true and living GOD will be able to deliver you out from such a turmoil.
My brother, you know that you have friends who do care for you and are constantly praying for you. You also have your long time friend who is willing to help you. So, you are never alone. In reality, you will never be alone, and your friends will always be here for you.
Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths. (Proverbs 3:5-6)
A merry heart does good, [like] medicine, But a broken spirit dries the bones. (Proverbs 17:22)
Things that are physical tangible things are not held closest to our lives. Sure, you can grasp it and bring it close. But then what? Think of a relationship with a close friend, family, or even a pet. What is special about them? It is this intangible emotion, and the relations you share. That is special. What is closest is those little things that live inside of you. You are closest to your heart, your blood, you thoughts, and your dreams- your emotions. There is no puzzle to take apart here.
ReplyDeleteIt's a odd thing to have so little control over emotions sometimes. Your words show how alienated you are by them. You want to fix things, find a way out and just escape. But you can't escape your own self. Don't sweetie. Just treasure it, make the best of it, and remember all the reasons your you. Remember that you are the only one and the closest one to your own self and your own emotions.
What's truly beautiful is the same "thing" that you are intimidated by, tired by, and trying to escape from. But you're beautiful inside. You're surroundings are beautiful. There is a lot to appreciate and enjoy. So much is waiting ahead of you, waiting to be discovered. None of this can exist if not your emotions. Don't dissect it as if a physical object. It's more magical then that. Life is more magical than that. It's beautiful and ugly (to you) for the same way it's intangible. And Geo, "what's next?" is waiting for you to find out. You set your own aspirations and expectations. Chase it, then see what's next. Smile. Breathe. Realize that with life and all this magic we don't understand, comes sadness, which brings about happiness. There is no joy, without sadness. It's all a part of this "intangible" thing you speak of. It's all the energy and thoughts that runs within you. Take a deep breath. Know that sadness is not forever. And you can be strong, stand up and fight against it like you did. It is really all possible. Anything is... You proved it when you told me I can be part of Miss MFC, and then... I did. WE did. :)
As an add-on to what Joey said and to respond to your question, "What's next?" I believe that a new way is opening now up for you. Of course, this is the way that you have never expereinced before, a path that only the limited number of those respond to the calling of God can experience.
ReplyDeleteJesus said that I am the way. Which way? The way to an eternal life? Sure. Truly that what was referred to. But more than that. The way that now God will induce His own purpose on you so that you can do according to His will. A way that is full of blessings because our LORD is love, kind, caring to bless us daily. A way full of grace that HE has taken up your problem and substituted himself to suffer and die for you. A way that is so beautiful that without it, everyone is lost, and this is the way how HE has laid in front of you.
Of course, if you ask me how to cope with your current siutation, my answer is I don't know. I can't offer any solution. But one thing I am sure, the seemingly dead-end of our own way, is the beginning of this new way for GOD, who can pick you up from a dumpster and to give you a new beginning, for all things has passed, and you will live a new life.
So, what's next? As a born-again Christian, you will never be alone. God is always be with you, promises to protect you and guide you all the days of your life. Though you walk through the dakest valley of the shadow, you will not be alone for HE is with you.